7 years married.
2 plus years of infertility.
1 round of IVF.
11 weeks pregnant with one perfect baby.
We are overjoyed and so thankful God has entrusted us with this life. Happy anniversary, Russ. I cannot wait to see you be a dad.
I was never a girl who grew up dreaming of being a mother. I’ve always been envious of those women. They seem to make something look easy that to me seems terrifying, beautiful, and messy all at the same time. So when Russ and I got married in our early 20s after spending the majority of our relationship living in different states, we knew we would wait. I always imagined the day would come when I was magically “ready” to be a mom. Almost five years later, all my fears were still there, and I realized I’d never be ready. How does one prepare for motherhood? But I was ready to take the next step in life with Russ. We wanted kids, we deeply wanted kids. I want to see Russ be a father. I want our kids to know the love of their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and community of friends that have loved us so well. I just never imagined we would have trouble. It wasn’t in my plan.
After ten months of trying, some minor tests, and no clear indicator or anything wrong, we went to a specialist. I have endometriosis. It’s not the answer I wanted. I had surgery for endometriosis in January of 2015 which revealed I had stage 4. This required a 6 month follow up treatment of Lupron shots, a menopause inducing drug that caused hot flashes I didn’t know existed. At the end of treatment, we hoped pregnancy would come naturally. When it didn’t, with every pregnancy announcement, every new vile of blood drawn, every story I heard on the news of terrible things being done to children, I didn’t understand. It’s hard to reconcile it all when I know the God I believe in to be good. I know him to be loving. I know him to be a miracle worker. I’ve personally experienced all those things. And yet, in this He had decided not to act yet. I learned, slowly, that maybe what he was doing in me in the midst of pain and not understanding wasn’t second best. I began to learn that maybe I could still be thankful in this too. That maybe thankfulness can look different at different times in life. That it doesn’t have to be loud and happy. It can be quiet, hard, and rooted in trust.
As the months of Clomid and Follistem treatments continued without success, we faced a decision at the end of 2015. My endometriosis was coming back with every month, and our doctor recommended IVF. After much thought and prayer we decided to go for it. I started stimulation shots in March, and on April 20, 2016 we found out we were pregnant. The gratefulness we felt in that moment couldn’t be described. It was time for loud, happy thankfulness, and we were so glad for the change. But I’m also glad for the season we walked through. Glad for the extra time, fun, and growth Russ and I experienced in our marriage. Glad for the community of family and friends who literally carried us when we needed it, a beautiful picture of the love of the church. Glad to learn how to be vulnerable and that faith sometimes seems more like holding on by a thread than being held onto. A person tempted toward pride, glad to be humbled a few times too. This too will be part of my story. And someday soon, God willing, part of our baby’s too. We can’t wait to tell him/her just how loved he/she really is.
If infertility is your story too, and this is just one more pregnancy announcement filling your feed and causing pain, I’m sorry. I’ve been there. I pray the peace and grace of Christ covers you in this time.
Thanks to Jami Leavitt for capturing this season in our life so perfectly. And maybe helping my bump out a little in a couple of these. Grin. Also, thanks to our doctor and nurse who have been so incredible through this process.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
My Outfit – White Dress c/o WAYF (obsessed!) // Heels: Steve Madden (also available in black and taupe)
Russ’s Outfit (always J.Crew…)
196 Comments
I am so, SO happy for you guys! Your journey has been long and painful- but you have ARRIVED! And are going to have a babyyyyyyy!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Ah so many congrats Amy! You are absolutely glowing and I can see the joy! Thank you for sharing your story, it was such an inspiring read. You’re going to be such a wonderful mother! Take care!!
xx
An Unblurred Lady
Such AMAZING news AMY! I’m so happy for you and you look so radiant in this post! Rest well and have a fab week momma Amy!
Love, Aldora
http://www.musingsofarabbit.com
Congrats on your new bundle of joy! I wish you nothing but the best for the rest of your pregnancy and the birth.
Such wonderful news to hear!! I am so so happy for you and your husband! What an absolute miracle! Wishing you an amazing pregnancy! Thank you for sharing your story!! P.s you are already the chicest of prego’s! Xoxo
Xo, Erica
Casually Styled
Owh I got so excited reading the title! I am so happy for you both!! Congratulations! These photos are literally so adorable and your story is really inspiring. I also love your sensitivity to those struggling with fertility issues, this post is so beautiful xx
http://christbelle.blogspot.co.uk/
I am so beyond happy for you. What an inspiring story! You look absolutely beautiful, like an ethereal princess. Looking forward to your pregnancy style and then your little one!
xo
Siffat
http://icingandglitter.com
OMG I’m happily freaking out and dancing in my chair over here!! YAYYYY!! So excited for y’all. CONGRATS!! You look gorgeous.
Congratulations to you both! Your story is so inspiring and I am beyond happy for you! These photos are stunning – you look radiant! Looking forward to your pregnancy style and hearing more of this new journey! Sending lots of love!
xMC
http://mc2squared.blogspot.com
OH MY GOD congratulations!!!! This was such a heartwarming read I felt like I got to know your soul so much better… You are going to LOVE motherhood. These photos are breathtaking, I’m in awe. You look so gorgeous & you’re positively glowing! I can’t wait to see you take this journey! <3
http://www.SHVETA.com
Yay! Congratulations to you and Russ! I’ve been routing for you guys. I know it has been a long and trying process for you and I’m so happy that you have been blessed with the beautiful gift of life. Thank you for being so open about your journey and fears about motherhood. Like you, I thought I would wake up one day and just know that I was ready. And now that I’m dealing with fibroid issues, I fear I might have waited too long. But reading your post gives me hope me and reminds not to give up. You guys are going to be amazing parents and I can’t wait to see your growing baby bump. These pictures are beyond beautiful and you look gorgeous❤️ Congrats again!
xo, jackie
stylemydreams.com
Oh my gosh, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy to hear this news. Thank you for sharing your journey to motherhood along with your apprehension. I feel a lot of the same fears you do about entering into parenthood so it is incredibly refreshing (and reassuring!) to learn you feel the same. What an exciting adventure you are embarking on!
Oh my gosh Amy Ann I can’t tell you how excited I was when I saw your amazing news! 🙂 I am so so so so so so happy for you and cannot wait to see your growing bump. These pictures are absolutely gorgeous – no lie you are glowing! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Erica
http://www.pumpsandpushups.com
I’m almost in tears because this really resonates with me. I’m terrified of having kids too but I know what you mean about wanting to see your husband be a father. I know this process has been painful for you both, but it worked out and I know you’re helping others by revealing this. I’m so happy you guys are pregnant! Most beautiful photos I’ve seen of a pregnancy announcement!
So glad it resonates with you. It terrifies me too. I’m still scared. Scared I won’t be a good mother, scared of giving up control/independence, scared that it might change our marriage, etc. I see the love in my friends eyes despite the hard parts of parenting. I’m believing for all that. You all will figure out the right time! Thanks for being such a wonderful blog friend!
Congratulations!! I had a feeling when I saw your insta post the other day 😉 I am sooo happy for you Amy! You look absolutely gorgeous and so happy! I’m relating a lot to your story right now and it gives me hope 🙂 Thank you for sharing the hard times as well as the good.
XO ,
Jessica
Jeans and a Teacup
If you’re going through infertility, I’m so sorry. If there is anything I can do or you ever need to talk, let me know.
Thanks Amy 🙂
I am so happy for you and Russ! I know how much this means to you and what a long, trying process it’s been. And most of all I know the two of you will be wonderful, loving parents and we definitely need more parents like that raising children these days!
Gina || On the Daily Express
Thanks Gina! You always have the best comments.
Congratulations! That is so exciting! Your pictures are beautiful 🙂
Congratulations! So excited for you!!!!!! Such exciting news!
xo,
Jacqueline
Stylin In St. Louis
Congratulations!! I am so happy for you! I’ve been following your story and am thrilled to see this!
http://www.looklikeget.com
I cried reading this, and typing this out, I’m in happy tears. I cannot describe how happy I am for you and Russ. You’ve been in my prayers and this is just proof to me that God never breaks a promise. Congratulations to both of you a thousand times over, and thank you for sharing your honest story with us. You are positively glowing with happiness!
Julia // Little Miss Haute Couture
Thank you so much for your happiness on our behalf! He has been so good to use through the whole journey.