7 years married.
2 plus years of infertility.
1 round of IVF.
11 weeks pregnant with one perfect baby.
We are overjoyed and so thankful God has entrusted us with this life. Happy anniversary, Russ. I cannot wait to see you be a dad.
I was never a girl who grew up dreaming of being a mother. I’ve always been envious of those women. They seem to make something look easy that to me seems terrifying, beautiful, and messy all at the same time. So when Russ and I got married in our early 20s after spending the majority of our relationship living in different states, we knew we would wait. I always imagined the day would come when I was magically “ready” to be a mom. Almost five years later, all my fears were still there, and I realized I’d never be ready. How does one prepare for motherhood? But I was ready to take the next step in life with Russ. We wanted kids, we deeply wanted kids. I want to see Russ be a father. I want our kids to know the love of their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and community of friends that have loved us so well. I just never imagined we would have trouble. It wasn’t in my plan.
After ten months of trying, some minor tests, and no clear indicator or anything wrong, we went to a specialist. I have endometriosis. It’s not the answer I wanted. I had surgery for endometriosis in January of 2015 which revealed I had stage 4. This required a 6 month follow up treatment of Lupron shots, a menopause inducing drug that caused hot flashes I didn’t know existed. At the end of treatment, we hoped pregnancy would come naturally. When it didn’t, with every pregnancy announcement, every new vile of blood drawn, every story I heard on the news of terrible things being done to children, I didn’t understand. It’s hard to reconcile it all when I know the God I believe in to be good. I know him to be loving. I know him to be a miracle worker. I’ve personally experienced all those things. And yet, in this He had decided not to act yet. I learned, slowly, that maybe what he was doing in me in the midst of pain and not understanding wasn’t second best. I began to learn that maybe I could still be thankful in this too. That maybe thankfulness can look different at different times in life. That it doesn’t have to be loud and happy. It can be quiet, hard, and rooted in trust.
As the months of Clomid and Follistem treatments continued without success, we faced a decision at the end of 2015. My endometriosis was coming back with every month, and our doctor recommended IVF. After much thought and prayer we decided to go for it. I started stimulation shots in March, and on April 20, 2016 we found out we were pregnant. The gratefulness we felt in that moment couldn’t be described. It was time for loud, happy thankfulness, and we were so glad for the change. But I’m also glad for the season we walked through. Glad for the extra time, fun, and growth Russ and I experienced in our marriage. Glad for the community of family and friends who literally carried us when we needed it, a beautiful picture of the love of the church. Glad to learn how to be vulnerable and that faith sometimes seems more like holding on by a thread than being held onto. A person tempted toward pride, glad to be humbled a few times too. This too will be part of my story. And someday soon, God willing, part of our baby’s too. We can’t wait to tell him/her just how loved he/she really is.
If infertility is your story too, and this is just one more pregnancy announcement filling your feed and causing pain, I’m sorry. I’ve been there. I pray the peace and grace of Christ covers you in this time.
Thanks to Jami Leavitt for capturing this season in our life so perfectly. And maybe helping my bump out a little in a couple of these. Grin. Also, thanks to our doctor and nurse who have been so incredible through this process.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
My Outfit – White Dress c/o WAYF (obsessed!) // Heels: Steve Madden (also available in black and taupe)
Russ’s Outfit (always J.Crew…)
196 Comments
Chills. I have chills! AHHH, this is so exciting and I’m so happy for you! I can only imagine the joy you’re feeling and the peace knowing that prayers were heard and answered. What a beautiful shoot to commemorate such a beautiful time!
Emily
http://darlingdearestblog.com
Thank you so much! It’s definitely a sweet time.
Amy, Congrats!! I’m so excited for you guys! I also really appreciate how open and honest you have been throughout this journey. I’ve followed along from the beginning and have been so impressed with your spirit throughout. This shoot is beautiful and pictures you will cherish forever!
Nicole
Nicole to the Nines
Thank you for following along and being so supportive. I appreciate you!
Oh Amy, I am so excited for you! Congratulations! You are going to be such a wonderful mother. Stunning photos, too.
Kathryn • The Fashionography
I so love your honesty Amy and I have to say CONGRATS!!!! You guys were blessed with a bundle of joy and I am sure it will enrich your lives even more. You’re glowing girl. Congrats again.
Kia / KTS
http://www.houseofkts.com
I’m so so so happy for you Amy! I have been following along for sometime and know what an amazing spirit you have! Congratulations to you and your husband! You’ll be a great mom!
xo Adri | http://www.adrilately.blogspot.com
Thank you so much for following along and being so great!! I appreciate you!
So beyond thrilled for you! Love this shoot! I have this dress hanging up on my mirror right now. 😉
xx Leah / http://www.eatpraywearlove.com
wow Amy!! congratulations on this news! I’m sure you guys are going to be great parents!! Happy for you and your husband!
thenewgirl.me
So incredibly happy for you!! Couldn’t wait to read this post once I saw it on FB. Wishing you a very easy and fun next few months! <3
http://www.amemoryofus.com
Congrats! I am so happy for you!
Kisses,
Andreea
http://couturezilla.com/
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I’m so excited for you! You guys are going to be wonderful parents 🙂
COLLEENWELSCH.COM
I am so happy for you Amy!!! you deserve it!!! Your going to be great mom!
http://xoxobella.com
I am so incredibly happy for you two! This is the best news ever, Amy! Sending you two lots of hugs and congratulations and praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby. You are going to be a wonderful mother, and a fashionable one too! 😉
xo, Lily
Beauty With Lily
Oh Lily, your words mean so much knowing what you are going through. Thank you for finding joy for me in the midst of your hardship and unmet desires for the same.
Oh wow, how exciting! Congrats for the both of you! You’re already a glowing goddess!
XoXo,
Tamra – loveofMode.com
Wow! Dear Amy I am soooo happy for you! This is such a beautiful post and wow, I am just overwhelmed. I feel like its been only two weeks since you post about infertility and now this! This is beyond amazing. Congratulations! Becoming a mother is the most beautiful gift! I am so incredibly grateful every single day for the beautiful daughter that was given to me. All the best for your pregnancy! I am sure you will come up with the most beautiful maternity looks ever 🙂
Xx
Larissa
conscious lifestyle of mine
Congratulations!!
Oh my goodness! Amy I am crying over this blog post. This is such a beautiful posting, congratulations! You both most certainly deserve it and will be the best parents. Like I said on Instagram, thank you so much for being such a wonderful inspiration, and letting us into your life. Excited to see you grow into a wonderful mother.
Filipa xxx
PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram
Oh goodness, thank you so much! I am overwhelmed at your kindness.
When I logged onto FB this morning and read your post, my day was made! I’m beyond thrilled for you and Russ, and that little baby is going to be so loved and lucky to have two wonderful parents. God works is mysterious ways, but I believe there is a reason for everything that we are put through, and it just makes us stronger. These photos are beautiful!
Rachael
http://www.threadsforthomasblog.com
I love your dress, but like everyone else, I love your exciting news even more! Although we have never met, you seem so kind, gracious, and deserving of this newfound happiness. Wishing all the best to you and your husband on this journey and I can’t wait to see you stylishly dress your bump!
Meagan
http://www.meagansmoda.com
I had a feeling after seeing you snap this balloon!!!!!!! I’m so over the moon happy for you, it’s making me teary eyed! Can not wait to follow along on this journey. The biggest congrats to you and your growing family!!!!!!
xx
Laura
http://www.sequinsatbreakfast.com
Oh my goodness, sending my biggest congratulations your way! So excited for you!