Well friends, here we are. Infertility round two.
Though we knew it might be a possibility we dared to hope we wouldn’t walk this road again. If you are unfamiliar with our story, you can read my original post about our infertility journey here, our pregnancy announcement here, and then Ivy Jean’s birth story here. Oftentimes with endometriosis a healthy pregnancy improves the chances of a natural one following. With consultation from our doctor, we began trying to have a second child just after the new year before my endometriosis had too long to return.
After trying for 6 months with no success, I had an endometrial biopsy. Our original infertility journey started with the same biopsy. As I arrived at the doctor’s office the second time, my heart was heavy with grief over walking what felt like the exact same steps again years later. As I walked out, God was so faithful to remind me that the steps in might be familiar but the steps out were not the same. I was going home to our sweet Ivy Jean. God is in the business of miracles, and our girl is a living, breathing reminder. The biopsy revealed for various reasons we had little chance of getting pregnant on our own.
Together with our doctor, we decided to try one round of IUI. We found out recently that it was not successful. We are not pregnant. The end of our sentences have more question marks than periods. We know we want to grow our family. Period. How will we have more children? Will we adopt? It is something we love and have always been open to for our family. Should we try IVF again? Another IUI? These thoughts feel heavy and big.
One thing I know for sure, infertility does not have the final say. Period.
Our God is still in the business of miracles, and we stand ready to see the outcome. We do not know what is next for our family, but we are excited to find out. In our previous journey, I struggled with regards to faith. I had times where I doubted God and wondered what he was doing. After walking through it, I love him even more. Trust him even more. Stand on his goodness with more surety than I ever could have without the difficulty, and I am so grateful. Grateful for the grace to believe. Even if the circumstances in our lives do not change, God has already written a beautiful story with our family. Grateful for the chance to know who God is and to see our family changed in the process.
“I am the resurrection and the life.” John 11:25
(Photo from a page in my recent bible study, Finding I Am. God is so cool sometimes in how he speaks.)
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