Adoption Update

February 6, 2019

Hello everyone! It’s been a little while since my post where I shared that we were starting the adoption process, and I thought it was about time to share a little update. We began this process back in late August with the decision to adopt, and since then we have had highs and lows just as you would imagine. The road to any good thing in life is often paved with twists and turns, ups and downs, and ultimately growth and beauty. I find myself really grateful to have walked through our infertility and IVF journey already. The history I have with God and, in many ways, a similar waiting experience to grow our family feels helpful when the painful moments come. Even though he doesn’t have to, as the work on the cross already testifies to it, God has graciously already proven himself faithful. We know through living, breathing, joy-filled, rambunctious, messy-house, everything-takes-longer-than-it-used-to evidence we have in Ivy Jean, the road is so worth the journey.

Adoption Highs

So you might be wondering, what are some of the adoption highs and lows? Read on! Well, without a doubt the biggest high comes in the form of meeting Matt, Emily, and their son Jaxon of Daymaker & Co. Matt and Emily started a candle company with the idea of giving back. Twenty percent of every candle they sell goes to help partially fund an adoption. Here’s the coolest part, they were looking for their first family to partner with, and independently two people Russ and I know mentioned us.

That’s when I heard from Matt. To say his message and then subsequent calls came out of the blue and felt like a huge gift would be an understatement. As Russ and I have worked through this process, one of the biggest hurdles we have faced is what agency/agencies to we list with and much of that has been based on the costs associated with them (more on that in a bit). There is no way around it, adoption is expensive. Having someone come alongside you as a partner to help share the expenses is a huge blessing to us or any family.

The Arnold Family Candle

We have partnered with Daymaker & Co. to select a scent for the official Arnold Family Candle, yay! If you are interested, you can purchase it here. If you are familiar, it smells a lot like the Blue Volcano candle from Anthro. Daymaker & Co. also uses 100% soy wax and organic/essential oils. Supporting Daymaker & Co. would be a gift to us and any future families they might provide assistance to as well. You can also watch more about what they do on this Channel 2 news story. Believe it or not, Russ and I were actually featured in a follow up story on TV as well. You can watch it here. Thank you in advance for your support of adoption.

Adoption Challenges

I hate to even really call them lows as anything you commit to in life that you know is the right path always has parts that aren’t as easy as others. While we were going through our infertility journey and IVF, we definitely experienced those, and it would be naive to believe we would walk this journey without them too. My prayer is that our hearts would remain open and receptive to whatever the Lord has for us despite those ups and downs. As I mentioned earlier, adoption is expensive and also time consuming in the form of both paperwork and decisions. Much of what Russ and my conversations have been based around is decisions surrounding what avenues to pursue and when.

Status & Decisions

The local agency we are using is small. Because it is small, it is more affordable (plus). Because it is small, it also does a small amount of placements per year which means we could potentially wait a long time to be matched (minus). We have also contacted and decided to work with a local attorney who specializes in adoption. The same is true for her and her office. She is more affordable, but often does few actual matches per year.

The conversations we are having now are about whether or not to list with more agencies outside of Oklahoma that are larger (i.e. more expensive) but do many more placements per year offering us the chance to get matched faster. While we can wait, there are many things to consider when making that decision chief of which is Ivy Jean and our age as parents. Each time we list with an agency or even consider it, it means research to make sure it is legitimate, inquiries as to how to apply, and paperwork. Always paperwork with adoption. Then more conversations between Russ and I about the different options and if we even want to try more.

A Hard Experience – Meeting a Birth Mom But Not Being Matched

The hardest thing we have experienced so far in the process is meeting with a birth mom and not being selected by her to parent her child. In this particular case, she was due very soon. We left thinking we could have a baby in 10 days or not at all. I lack the proper words to really express the emotional cycle Russ and I went through in that short 36 hours. Though I have never had a miscarriage, I feel as if I have lost a child. In the end, I can see positives from the situation, and it was a learning experience for Russ and I. Ultimately, though we desperately wanted to bring that baby home from the hospital, we trust that we see only a small piece of a much bigger puzzle. We believe in the author of our story. We also believe that He is not only the author of our story, but of that sweet baby boy’s story too. We trust that what He is writing is, in the end, much better than what we could write on our own even if it doesn’t feel like it at that time. And believe me, it didn’t. So for now, to be continued…

Family/Work Update

Since adoption is so up in the air, and it is hard to manage two part-time jobs (I have a real office one and the blog which is a very real part-time job), Russ and I have decided it is best for me to quit my office job at this time. I have been an Admissions & Enrollment Coordinator for almost nine years at OU, and I love my job. I am so grateful that they let me adjust my schedule to part-time when I had Ivy Jean. The people I work with are some of the best I know. They are truly like an extension of my family.

At the same time, I feel stretched having both jobs and being a mom. I want most of all to be present at home for Ivy Jean in this transition in the best way possible, and I think meeting the birth mom really opened our eyes. I also want to be ready to welcome our sweet baby. It is a very real possibility that we could be matched in a very similar situation, i.e. close to the due date. We want more than anything to create a family that is well and whole, and right now that means staying at home for me. And I enter that role with joy anticipating what our family of four will look like, grateful it is possible for me to stay home. We can’t wait for you Baby Arnold!

Style on the Daily Link Up with On the Daily Express

Inlinkz Link Party

You Might Also Like


  • Reply The Fashion Folks February 6, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    I must have missed the first post! But congratulations to you and your family for making a decision to expand your family!! I wish you all the best and have no doubt in my heart that everything will happen in the best way possible. Sending lots of love! Xx

  • Reply Gina February 6, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you for this sweet and heartfelt update! You do a really great job of sharing a good amount to let us know you and your journey but maintaining some privacy that you and your family deserve. I am also SO happy for you that you will be able to stay home for awhile! I think it will bring some peace to your home (and to you!) that will help you and your family through this process. All the best to you and your family!
    Gina || On the Daily Express

  • Reply RUth February 6, 2019 at 11:28 am

    Thank you for the update. I do think that everything happens for a reason. There is another little one out there that is going to be so loved in your home. And when that happens all the pieces will fall into place perfectly.

  • Reply jacqui berry February 6, 2019 at 11:26 am

    OMG! what a wonderfully honest post. I wish you so much luck and love with your forthcoming experience, I can only imagine what you must be feeling. Thanks for sharing this delightful post. x Jacqui Mummabstylish

  • Reply Cristina - Memories of the Pacific February 6, 2019 at 10:46 am

    You are so brave to go through such a process! Sending you my best wishes and lots of luck

  • Reply Jessica A Jannenga February 6, 2019 at 10:46 am

    WIshing you the best Amy for you and your family.
    jess xx

  • Reply Karly February 6, 2019 at 10:11 am

    Thanks for sharing everything with us – I think you’re both so brave and amazing to open up about this journey. While everything certainly has its highs and lows, I’m praying for you that everything will be worth it in the end. Sending you all lots of good vibes!

  • Reply Jo-Lynne Shane February 6, 2019 at 10:01 am

    I’m so excited for you, that you can stay home and work on the blog full/part time and be a full time mom as well. It was fun to get caught up and read about where you are right now with the adoption. I can only imagine how painful it was to meet a potential birth mom and not be chosen, but as you know, it was evidently not the situation God had for you. I love how you are sharing your testimony of faith through this process. xoxo

  • Reply Amy Johnson February 6, 2019 at 8:42 am

    I will pray that God will bless you with a baby that needs a home.

  • Reply Meagan Brandon February 6, 2019 at 8:39 am

    Gosh, it must be such an emotional rollercoaster for you all in this adoption process. I can only imagine how upsetting it was to meet the birth mother and then it didn’t work out. Stay strong – the right child will be sent to find a home with truly good people like you!


  • Reply Biana February 6, 2019 at 8:29 am

    Thank you for sharing your update and everything with your process. Sending lots of love to you and Russ on this journey! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston

  • Reply jodie filogomo February 6, 2019 at 8:27 am

    Oh, Amy. My heart is so heavy for you through all these ups and downs. But you two handle it so wisely. I’m in awe of how you’ve written about it, and will send prayers for you!

  • Reply Rach February 6, 2019 at 8:14 am

    Wow, I can’t imagine the emotional roller coaster! Amy Ann, I seriously look up to you regarding your family growing process, because I know I will have to be doing the same process (probably both IVF and adoption). In some sort of way, I don’t feel so alone. And I love the candles! Bonus that it smells great! I would love to support you!

  • Reply lazy Daisy Jones February 6, 2019 at 7:49 am

    Sending so much love to you, because love makes the world go round.
    Bestest wishes
    Ashley xx

  • Reply Kate February 6, 2019 at 7:03 am

    I can’t even imagine all the emotions you guys are going through, but know God has the right baby for your family. That baby will be SO lucky to be your daughter/son <3
    Green Fashionista

  • Reply Kelly R February 6, 2019 at 6:52 am

    I have witnessed through my aunt and uncle what a process adoption can be and I am sending so many prayers for y’all as you go through it!

    Rosy Outlook

  • Reply Laura February 6, 2019 at 6:29 am

    Loved reading your post today. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  • Reply Katherine February 6, 2019 at 6:25 am

    Wow! What a process. I love hearing your updates and will continue praying for your sweet family!

    Katherine |

  • Reply Andrea Nine February 6, 2019 at 5:47 am

    You know I feel for you all and have been thinking of and praying for you daily!!! Your sweet baby is so special and perfect ned just hasn’t been selected yet is all, God knows, oh he knows and the world needs to know that you will make the most AMAZING family for that new babe..simply the BEST!!!! Love you!! xoxo

  • Reply Laurie February 6, 2019 at 3:09 am

    That is an unbelievable process to be going through. I wish you the best of luck xx

  • 1 2

    Leave a Reply