We’re Having a Baby!

June 6, 2016

7 years married.

2 plus years of infertility.

1 round of IVF.

11 weeks pregnant with one perfect baby.

We are overjoyed and so thankful God has entrusted us with this life. Happy anniversary, Russ. I cannot wait to see you be a dad.

Amy_Russ_Maternity-65

I was never a girl who grew up dreaming of being a mother. I’ve always been envious of those women. They seem to make something look easy that to me seems terrifying, beautiful, and messy all at the same time. So when Russ and I got married in our early 20s after spending the majority of our relationship living in different states, we knew we would wait. I always imagined the day would come when I was magically “ready” to be a mom. Almost five years later, all my fears were still there, and I realized I’d never be ready. How does one prepare for motherhood? But I was ready to take the next step in life with Russ. We wanted kids, we deeply wanted kids. I want to see Russ be a father. I want our kids to know the love of their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and community of friends that have loved us so well. I just never imagined we would have trouble. It wasn’t in my plan.

After ten months of trying, some minor tests, and no clear indicator or anything wrong, we went to a specialist. I have endometriosis. It’s not the answer I wanted. I had surgery for endometriosis in January of 2015 which revealed I had stage 4. This required a 6 month follow up treatment of Lupron shots, a menopause inducing drug that caused hot flashes I didn’t know existed. At the end of treatment, we hoped pregnancy would come naturally. When it didn’t, with every pregnancy announcement, every new vile of blood drawn, every story I heard on the news of terrible things being done to children, I didn’t understand. It’s hard to reconcile it all when I know the God I believe in to be good. I know him to be loving. I know him to be a miracle worker. I’ve personally experienced all those things. And yet, in this He had decided not to act yet. I learned, slowly, that maybe what he was doing in me in the midst of pain and not understanding wasn’t second best. I began to learn that maybe I could still be thankful in this too. That maybe thankfulness can look different at different times in life. That it doesn’t have to be loud and happy. It can be quiet, hard, and rooted in trust.

As the months of Clomid and Follistem treatments continued without success, we faced a decision at the end of 2015. My endometriosis was coming back with every month, and our doctor recommended IVF. After much thought and prayer we decided to go for it. I started stimulation shots in March, and on April 20, 2016 we found out we were pregnant. The gratefulness we felt in that moment couldn’t be described. It was time for loud, happy thankfulness, and we were so glad for the change. But I’m also glad for the season we walked through. Glad for the extra time, fun, and growth Russ and I experienced in our marriage. Glad for the community of family and friends who literally carried us when we needed it, a beautiful picture of the love of the church. Glad to learn how to be vulnerable and that faith sometimes seems more like holding on by a thread than being held onto. A person tempted toward pride, glad to be humbled a few times too. This too will be part of my story. And someday soon, God willing, part of our baby’s too. We can’t wait to tell him/her just how loved he/she really is.

If infertility is your story too, and this is just one more pregnancy announcement filling your feed and causing pain, I’m sorry. I’ve been there. I pray the peace and grace of Christ covers you in this time.

Thanks to Jami Leavitt for capturing this season in our life so perfectly. And maybe helping my bump out a little in a couple of these. Grin. Also, thanks to our doctor and nurse who have been so incredible through this process.

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“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

My Outfit – White Dress c/o WAYF (obsessed!) // Heels: Steve Madden (also available in black and taupe)

Russ’s Outfit (always J.Crew…)

  • I am so utterly chuffed to bits for you both! And in English vernacular that means over the moon, cock-a-hoop, tap dancing on the roof, hanging out the bunting! I know it’s been a long, hard journey so this news really is very special. Congratulations to you both. xx

    http://petitesilvervixen.blogspot.co.uk/

    • Thank you so much!! That means a lot! In regards to your other comment, I’ve thought I should try prenatal Pilates or yoga! Yoga seems to be the more available one here. Thanks for the encouragement!

  • oh gosh, I’m not sure I ever commented on this post but I am over the moon happy for you & your hubby! What an exciting time! I can’t wait to follow your journey!

    michellespaige.com

  • I’m so terribly late in saying this but congratulations, Amy. So many hugs are being sent your way now. I remember we first “met” over a post wherein you talked about the difficulties of getting pregnant, and now, here’s your post announcing your pregnancy 🙂 all things happen in His time, and I really couldn’t be happier for you and your husband xoxo

  • Jenn Dalisay

    Wow! Just wow! I love this post so much! Thank you for sharing this story and this wonderful blessing to us, your readers. God really do work in mysterious ways! He never leaves us alone. I am so happy for you and your husband. I pray for you to have a safe pregnancy. We can’t wait to see your little one! 🙂

    Jenn
    The Pink Lemonade Girl
    YouTube
    Bloglovin

  • I am so incredibly happy for you both! What a wonderful blessing and I can’t wait to see your pregnancy style throughout the process!

    District of Chic

  • Ianne Cabangon

    I am so happy for you as i have friends who also done ivf and had a baby. I can picture how happy both of you are right now. God bless you in your new journey. Amazing pictures by the way!
    Xo, Christianne
    http://simplychristianne.com

  • Amazing! I’m so happy for you!!
    Kisses,
    Nazlıgül | on my own way
    Check out my latest vlog: Hello Youtube!

  • I missed this announcement earlier this week but just wanted to stop by to wish you a big congratulations! I am beyond happy for you. You are going to be a great mama!
    Fizz and Frosting

  • clara mcmillan

    I’m so beyond happy for you, you will be such amazing parents!

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

  • Alanda Ware-Thomson
  • Sahra

    yay! Amy, I’m so happy and excited for you! I know how much you’ve been wanting this!

    Congrats!!

    XO Sahra
    Que Sera Sahra

  • Amy I am so happy for you!!! You guys are going to be awesome parents. God is so good.

  • Oh my goodness! How exciting! Congratulations!

  • Oh my goodness! Congratulations to you both!!! Your photos are gorgeous and I appreciated reading your story leading up to this announcement. Thank you for sharing. You are going to be a beautiful and stylish mother to be. 🙂